...Make Me Smile...

• Wayne Hussey dies and goes to heaven.  At the pearly gates, he meets up with Gabriel who gives him the grand tour of heaven. While touring he sees many familiar faces including Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis ,Mary Shelly, and of course Nick Fiend kind of shows up once in a while... And then he sees Andrew Eldritch Sitting on a HUUUGE throne...Wayne Says to Gabriel "I didn't know Andrew was dead !"Gabriel replies, "Oh, that's God (tm) He only thinks he's Andrew"

• How does Andrew Eldritch screw in a lightbulb?
  He holds it into the socket and waits for the world to revolve round him.

• How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
  Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudinum in a metaphysical environment.

• How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
  None, they just embrace the darkness.

• How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb? None...they just talk about how good the old one was.

• What's black and purple and lies in the gutter ?
  A dead goth.

Not strictly Goth ... but I did like it!

• A woman dies and goes to heaven, and soon is embraced by the welcoming arms of Saint Peter. "Welcome to Heaven, dear child! I hope yo--"...but he was cut off by horrific screaming and pleads for mercy. The woman was a bit surprised and asked St. Peter in a hushed voice, "Are those the souls of the damned?" Shaking his head, St. Peter replied, "No, my child, they are drilling holes into the new arrivals. You aren't built with a place for those wings and halos." The woman was obviously both shocked and terrified. "F**k that, I'm off to Hell!" And went along to the line of the Damned. St. Peter yelled after her, "But they will rape and sodomize you in Hell!" The woman briskly turned around and said, "But I've already got holes for that!"

          - A Grey Rainbow (Many Thanks!)
 

(OK...So you've heard these a thousand times before?...I'm asking very nicely that some of you send in some "different" jokes please, and liven this page up....Please?? You'll get full credit for what you send!)